I'm really doing what I should when I don't post anything.  I've been running.  Eating has been good.  I weigh in today and I'll be down.  Small "Yeah!"

I have the answer to my extreme tiredness and the need to eat anything sugary in my path.  It wasn't what I expected.  I was pregnant.  Now I'm not.  Pretty simply put - in words.  Emotions are different.  They may be expressed eventually.

I've been dealing with the knowledge for a few weeks now.  Plotting and planning.  Trying to figure out how to manage the weight gain.  How to share this news.  Planning my training for Red Rock and running throughout pregnancy.  I had it figured out.  I was going to do it.  It was totally possible.  I wasn't going to talk about it too much before week twelve.

Week seven was this week and I was spotting on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday with cramps.  I went to the doctor yesterday for an ultrasound.  The baby only measure five weeks.  The doctor and I talked about the possibility of a miscarriage.  I haven't been sick at all.  None.  When I had a previous miscarriage this was a big thing to - no nausea.  I scheduled a hopeful appointment for next week to measure again and see if my dates were just wrong.  I'm pretty sure that I won't have to wait to know.

Any how - life moves on.  I ran five miles this morning.  Five slow miles.  The next few weeks will get better.  I'll get back to where I was and I will get stronger.  I did have a side ache again this morning.  Every run since my last post has been like this.  The first mile and a half are pretty painful.  I'm hoping this will go away.

I don't share any of this with you for sympathy - I'm okay.  Life marches on.  I'm glad I have a great husband and supportive friends.