I am at my heaviest weight in 6 years.  I ran this morning and I just kept thinking, "I can't do this.  I'm too fat.  This is too hard."
What the heck?  Here I was on a trail in a beautiful place on a wonderful day.  It was perfect to run.  I got to the top of my first hill, I wasn't going to quit.  Positive.  I kept thinking I have to be positive.  I kept saying the words I CAN.  I CAN DO THIS.  It took me 22 minutes but I got to the top of my second hill.  I stopped my watch and just looked around.  I live in a beautiful place at a time when I have so many opportunities.

 I have to look forward.  

I need to be positive.

I have a couple friends who have lost a lot on hcg - it is so tempting to me right now.  You don't even know how badly I want the magic pill.  I need to fit into clothes I love.  I want to look in the mirror and be happy with myself.  No magic pill will do this.  I know this.  I know that I need everything I learn along the way to help me with a healthy lifestyle.  I know that I need the confidence that builds each time I turn down a sugary treat.  I know that I need the satisfaction I get at the end of a workout.  I know that establishing habits and planning are the keys to keeping me moving and healthy - not a magic pill.  It's time for some goals.

I can do this.

I will do this. 

Tomorrow I will go to Weight Watchers.  I joined online but it's just not what I need.  I need accountability.  I need people around me who share my struggles.  I need the help from people who have been there.  Here I go.